Yes, it makes me giggle, and no, I'm not 12...

Did you know Tim Hortons sells a donut called an 8" Long John?

(photographic proof procured by Orange of said 8" Long John)

You can get an 8" chocolate Long John or an 8" vanilla Long John.

I'm just sayin'...

3 random things:

1. Lil' C "peed in da potty" for the first time tonight, and I have the world's cutest voicemail from the proudest little peanut to prove it. Should you be interested in hearing it, let me know...

2. I did my first 75 minute hot yoga class tonight, and at 105 degrees in the room it was a toss up as to what I should do first: pass out or barf? I went with child's pose followed by a deep "sitting on my butt open mouth breathing" centering stretch. Aces. I'm determined to go back and show a braver face.

3. My cat is currently obsessed with a cat nip stuffed taco.

Never a dull moment in the Library Lady's household...

... Selfishly thinking I'm in need of my own bit respite care but with neither the vacation time nor the mental stability to support it, I made a somewhat pathetic attempt to escape the grind by fondling the new book truck at work. And low and behold in and amongst the knitting patterns, locavore manifestos, and The Harmonica for Dummies, I came across this little diddy:

Oh my.

Laser-beaming babies aside, for those of you who are contemplating, wishing, fingers crossing, body-temperature-taking, ovulation monitoring, hoping to be pregnant and/or already growing your own hump and corresponding fire monster scales, this book is for you. It's also great for those of us who have cats.

How about an excerpt, hmm?

Chapter one: The Swelling:

"Greetings, woman. You are gloriously full with child, living proof of the miracle of creation, or else you wouldn't be reading this. Unless you're just curious. Or you're a man, and you have some sort of fetish. Well, as long as you paid for the book and are not soiling it in a dim corner of your lcoal bookstore, we're okay with that... Our first question is: are you sure you're pregnant? It's a little-known fact that 83 percent of people who believe they're pregnant are not; of those people, 47 percent stuffed an embroidered keepsake pillow under their shirt to see how it would look. The remaining 59 percent are merely confused about how The Secret works. And for good reason!" (3)

It goes on to explain that it's possible instead of being pregnant you might actually be: not pregnant, hysterical, recovering from a plate of bad clams, a snake that recently swallowed a full-grown ewe, a pumpkin costume, unable to button your pants, nurturing an eight-pound subcutaneous grapefruit, or a man.

This book. Makes. My life. There are a glorious number of references to fatties, "unruly paginas", baby jerks, and silly questions like "how can I be sure I'm pregnant?" (answer: torso swells gradually until baby falls into underpants.)

As I type I'm secretly pilfering this title from the new book cart into my oh-so-professional Club Sandwiches Not Seals work tote (thanks, Hurr_ah!) to hole up in my office and giggle. I recommend a bout of this for all of you facing the next 2.5 hours of a Tuesday wishing something stronger than bad coffee came out of the machine in the lunch room.

It's time for everyone's favorite game!

Things you might be surprised to learn about me:

1. I generally don't keep ice in the house. This isn't a conscious choice--I'm not a Pagophob or anything--I just forget to make it. And we don't have ice cube trays, so... There's that.

2. I like listening to political non fiction on CD, thinking intently about the points of view, formulating an argument, and then not talking about them with anybody.

3. Its entirely possible the entire time I've been complaining about my "allergies," I should really have been complaining about my deviated septum. I'm not a doctor, and I don't play one on TV. I'm just sayin... It's possible.

4. I like love the show Trailer Park Boys.

5. I have to try really hard not to say things.

6. I feel a lot of guilt, this lent in particular, for many, many reasons, not the least of which is because Orange has been away for a few days and I've had the heat cranked the entire time. That, and I'm not doing enough for baby Jesus.

It's hard not to be inspired by my friends.

Take Fingers, for example--dude has a full time job and takes care of so many people, myself included, and on her down time she preserves, makes crock pots full of delicious things like meatballs and pulled BBQ turkey (homemade BBQ sauce, of course) and bakes fresh focaccia or perfect little buns which she then delivers to me in Ziplock bags (still warm!)

I'm not making any of this up... For reals... But back off and get your own besty, because this one is firmly taken.

Channeling my inner Fingers, I spent most of today making Mulligatawny soup out of a Chatalaine recipe I tore out of a library magazine (*shifty eyes*). And if I do say so myself its pretty darn good! I added peas and red pepper, and substituted a roast chicken for chicken thighs, but other than that it's a great recipe. I then experimented with the card making supplies I recently purchased making a birthday card for a soon-to-be one year-old, and now I'm considering ordering THIS groovy little kit because I think stuffed logs could really take me to the "Fingers level" of home keeping.

Around the Bay 2011

What a waste of anxiety!

I sweat so much over the potential weather, my preparedness, the road conditions, what I would wear, breakfast on the day of, my tummy the day after, my water to Gatorade ratio, cutting back on fibre, dialing up the carbs, the guest room in the basement (don't ask) ... You'd think I was heading into a war zone and not a 30 km race.

But as it turns Around the Bay 2011 was just about as perfect as it could get: seasonally warm, sunny (I got a sunburn!), great company (big thanks to Cousin Toque and Deep River for running along beside/in front of me...) and a fabulous photo finish. Not to mention a wicked New Balance technical shirt, my very own cheering squad complete with inflatable "#1" finger and oversized foam hat, and while I missed the free course-side wine shooters I did manage to scrounge me some free orange wedges, grapes, and jelly beans being handed out by well-wishing fans.

Final time: 3:06:45 (chip)

I couldn't be happier! And as for 2012 Well... Let's just say I'm not gagging to do it again. I thought that damn York Boulevard would never end! And besides, I've got 42.2 to train for next... Got to get a marathon in before the world comes to an end.

*wink*